Lean not on your own understanding...
In all your ways acknowledge Him...
And He will make straight your paths...
the thing with trust is... it's not just about believing bold enough...
>>>it's scary....fear is constantly warring against it.
God, I trust you. But, but, but... I want to trust you... but....
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We've been limbo-ing for more than year or two now... with the frequent question ---
"Hey Slomas, what are you guys doing?"
Well we're living here, we are living there... house sitting here and there... it's been shifty.
Always with the weighty question--- are we making Kodiak our Home?
Or are we going to settle elsewhere?
The mutual ache for a home has been gnawing--- Is it okay to desire a home to call our own?
If you'd asked us this winter, Kodiak was the answer.
Tim had the incredible opportunity to subcontract out his welding skill and it was great until jobs became sparse. We even contemplated about buying a house in Kodiak for at least a serious twenty four hours...
Washington state had always been our plan for migration back to the lower 48. We even did an exploratory road trip last fall. Maine has always been a definitive, an emphatic no. Until it wasn't. I still can't entirely explain this heart change. It doesn't make sense to my head....
The power of suggestion?
"Would you ever live in Maine, Erin?" Just a question. A question I'd been asked before.
Winters more harsh than anything Alaska has offered? Russian roulette with Lyme disease?
No thanks. I'll steer West, please.
And then. I let myself look out of curiosity.
And doors flew open.
A job that seems to fit my prayers and pleas from the past couple years to a T--- day shift labor and delivery--- higher census, but not too crazy. A chance to learn and grow in my profession in a cross cultural context, with an emphasis on low intervention when feasible. A chance to work with withdrawal babies and perhaps have a place in fostering?
"Just a shot in the dark," and "I can't imagine they'll call me back," I said.
And I blinked twice and had an offer.
Well now what?
This wasn't my plan.
In a lot ways, it seems down-right foolish.
It's a huge move and it involves a lot of risk-- it feels like a gamble--- financially. Professionally. Rebuilding community. Jeopardizing our health? Do you move to make less and work harder? Is this labor and delivery dream worth the investment this move will cost? Is it selfish? Is it calling?
This move requires trust. Reliance.
We can't pull this off on our own.
Is walking forward a move of obedience and faith? Or are we the blindfolded preschooler walking into a wall?
So God gives us choices, is this His best for our whole family?
We have a special love for Kodiak, but our work here tastes stale. Is it worth still making a go of staying, because we have a better idea of what Kodiak has to offer (particularly for our kiddos?)?
But Maine could be good too... and our children could have a chance to know some of their cousins and their great grandparents---
We can't even tell you how long it's been. A month or two, more,
Tension.
And how do we truly weigh in with so many unknowns on the Maine end?
Just when we thought we were all in. Decided.
RV purchased. Selling possessions.
Another job option in Kodiak was presented.
The vacillation continued.
And then back to it. We're gonna leap. For one who has never sky dived--- this feels like we're about to jump out of a plane. Our safe familiar island plane.... for what we hope and pray is a fruitful move.
Still so many questions.
And the logistical challenge of it all continue to stir bubbles of doubt and fear.
We post this more as a petition for prayer than as an official announcement.
Please pray for us.
For assurance, affirmation & peace-- And that God truly would reroute us if this isn't his best for our family.
That we would be able to sell our material junk.
That our RV, also known as Big Bertha, would carry us through without mishap over close to six thousand miles. (Seventeen days. One RV. Two big kids trying to adult. A four year old and a one year old... you'll want to follow our blog for this!)
That the right house/farm would make itself available in the right time-- and that we'd have the wisdom to know when to move and make an offer-- because seriously, how do you buy a house?
For my transition back into full time work--- that I'd be able to connect well with coworkers, that my passion for working with mums and babies would flourish and that this would continue to be ministry and preparing for ongoing service.
For a dependable vehicle in Maine.
For a part time job for Tim (Praise God for my adaptable husband!)
For God's provision in the face of all the gaps and questions.
For community, early connections for our children, a quality preschool/kindergarten option.
For incredible summer adventures in Kodiak to serve as balm for our grieving hearts.
Pray that God would ready our hearts, that we would faithfully draw near, that we would see Him making His way before us.
And pray that all ticks die. And that nor'easter storms dissolve in global warming's warm kiss.
We're overwhelmed. We invite you, please pray with us!
A strange forbidding land---
https://youtu.be/sVveORLSWxI
Birth-- (warning-- on the graphic end)
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If God has told you to go, than Go it is....it may not be the promised land dripping with milk and honey, although milk and honey are abundant in Maine. My prayers go with you as God leads you, in whatever His decision is, I know you will follow!
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