27

It's that time of year again. Birthday day. The day when the number that's associated with my person grows a little bigger for a little longer...until it grows a little bigger again.

I spent most of my twenty-sixth year sorting through the chaos of change & my tangled emotional weeds. So. It's. A. New. Year.  Since I spent the kick-off 2014 in bed with bronchitis....I'm declaring this to officially be my new year.

So. Time to make some goals. Time to sketch out some of my hopes, some resolutions and prayers for this new year -- and for my quickly approaching new life as mommy.

1. Start each day with a prayer of thanks. For something. Anything. I've been wanting to cultivate a heart of gratitude for a while now... and I've been mostly unsuccessful. But hungry for joy and contentment--I'm bound and determined to give thanks. More.

2. Have this baby boy. Naturally and as pure as the curse has made it.

3. Be less reclusive - and more intentional in growing friendships here in Alaska. To be intentional with coworkers, church folk, with other mommies.

4. Try a new recipe...at least every other week...or  maybe every month...

5. Learn the art of breastfeeding.

6. Start running again. To run the Color Run in Anchorage with my husband on his birthday.

7. Laugh more & cry less -- to take life less seriously.

8. Keep better account of my son's first year than I did of his time in the womb. To journal/blog/photograph this new adventure. To see it as an adventure,  more than as something of drudgery.

9. To trust. More fully, boldly. There are countless life details to be figured out this next year. How will I go back to work - to a job that is incompatible with breastfeeding? How will we afford baby-care? Should Tim switch jobs? Should I switch jobs or buckle down for a few years? Do I pitch a contract to my employer to help with our debt? Do we move this fall...again, already? My head can work up a stress headache pretty quickly. Lord, please help me to really, truly, relentless trust you with all the crap we are supposed to navigate this year. We need more of you. We need wisdom.

10. Keep the music playing and playing loud. To dance more.

11. Shower every day. Even when I'm exhausted.

12. Let go of my timeline. To spend less time in frustrated jealousy of the adventures others are experiencing, and to better live the adventure that God has for me today.

13. Surrender the hope of missions, adoption, work I'm passionate about...But to not lose perspective. To continue to strive to live simply and generously.

14. Pray for others more.

15. Blink as little as possible & to cherish - cherish & treasure- our son's babyhood.

16. Pause in the sunbeams every chance I get.

17. Make the bed more often - to keep up with dishes. This ain't gonna happen... but it'd still be awesome!

18. Pick up my guitar and flute at least once - more than I did this last year.

19.  Grow in love with my baby's daddy. To be strong enough for him to lean into me - as often as I lean into him.

20. Read - to keep my brain educated beyond my FB newsfeed.

21. Learn how to be a servant in my own home - instead of dreaming of how I might serve others in different circumstances. To be faithful with this portion now.

22. Be fueled onward by Christ's strength. To read and know and chew on His Word daily.

23. Pick up a paint brush again.

24.  Nap - guilt free. To ask for help.

25. Organize and maintain organization of --- all the papers of life.

26. Grow in compassion, patience, mercy -- to love people again with the tenderness that once drew me to be a nurse in the first place. To move out of this place of burn-out and selfish survival.

27. To grow in Grace. With myself (when most of these don't happen) & with others.