night shift...

Sitting at the nurses' desk. Nearly 4 am. Duties are checked off; I've ordered vaccines, checked emergency supplies, rearranged the mother-baby room, dishes are clean... I'm here. Ready for patients. Grateful that would-be patients might just be sleeping, safely. Thankful that the provider that I would be calling gets to sleep after a busy day. Still kinda wish I was on a busy med-surg floor right now. Cold rain outside. Eyes dry. Clock ticking. I'm trying to read...but I've come down with a case of blah-brain...words quickly morphing into little more than pretty ink smudges on the page. Listening to Helen Jane Long play the piano. Thinking I will rename my kitten Niici (pronounced "neeky" for the Ahtna word word for moose, deniici). Just remembered I dreamt about In-N-Out Burger yesterday. Waiting for the phone to ring, or the urgent care doorbell. Tick-tock. Just burned my tongue on some pepperment mocha-flavored coffee. Numb tongue. I am here. Deep breath. Funny, we were studying a chapter on silence and solitude this past week in small group...here I am. Emmanuel is too. Ps. 46;10