Simply put...

In thinking about this dawn of a new year...
In thinking about an upcoming birthday and my fleeting youth...
In thinking about this rocky month of exhaustion and stress....
In listening to the clock tick at three in the morning...

Here's my cry before the Lord.
Here are all my life ambitions...I write them here instead of putting post-it notes all over my mirrors...

1. I want to know God. To glorify Him. To pour out, empty, spend my life on His purposes.

2. To be known more by peace and joy and other Holy Spirit fruits, than by complaining, anger, bitterness. To be a woman of grace and forgiveness. And contentment.

3. To have and live an abundant marriage.

4. To know my stuff & to be a rockin' competent and compassionate nurse. To make a difference for as many people people as I can, primarily the underserved, through healthcare (and love). To cross borders and live this out in active adventure and intentional mission.

5. Be healthy and remain as agile and energetic as possible for as long as possible.

6. To live simply and debt-free.

Father, thank you for being a God of mercy. Thank you that despite the frightening messes I have made, that somehow you still embrace me..and eagerly. Lord forgive me for choosing depression, critcisim, resentment, hatred, envy and other ugly things instead of choosing surrender to your Sovereignty.  Please, Lord, everything in me wants to live for you. Please, use me! Life is all foolishness apart from you. Open my eyes & teach me. Grant me open doors for the very things that will help me be who it is You long for me to be; because that is what I want. I want to become the vision you have always had for my life.  Hold me fast, in the waiting, in the growing, in the dreaming. Don't waste this passion Lord, but may who you are work in and through me, beautifully, even now.